No, goddammit, I don't. I really don't.
What this comes down to, basically, is a furious, hostile intolerance for clutter and distraction. Although I agree with Master Yoda that hate leads to suffering, distraction also leads to lost productivity, lost opportunities, regret, and a generally useless existence - and our world today is filled to bursting with distractions. Case in point: the Twitter web client. Although it sucks less than every other Twitter client when it comes to acknowledging and accommodating the patently obvious reality that people access Twitter on multiple devices, it still pelts you with useless distractions aplenty - specifically, inane lists of trending topics, suggestions that I follow Kim Kardashian, and similar pointless horseshit.
Fortunately, however, this is very easy to fix. You can have a much more serene experience reading Twitter with negligible effort. In fact, this is how the Twitter web client looks to me.
The secret sauce is dotjs, an absolutely fantastic project by Chris Wanstrath, inspired by a remark by his GitHub colleague Ryan Tomayko, which is ironic, because I've also used dotjs to fix GitHub.
After you install dotjs, all you need is a
~/.js/twitter.com.jsfile which looks like this:
The technique is simple: we insert inline CSS
<script>tags which set
display: none;for the relevant CSS selectors. We do this, rather than a simpler
$("selector").remove(), because dotjs runs your
~/.js/whichever-domain.jsfile when the page loads, but Twitter first loads a skeletal page and then populates it via Ajax. This updated version of the file not only removes all the specific stuff mentioned above, it even wipes out the entire dashboard div, giving an even cleaner version: